Sail, Awolnation - Music Video by Nanalew

Yarg, tis me again, me matey! Here to bring ye, another yargtube video of such excellence, ye shall be wanting to show ye captain!

                                                                           Source

 Only the combination of lightning and youtube can distract the captain from his first love: sodomy.

 

But for SERIOUS internet people, YOU MUST WATCH IT. I know a lot of you out there will skip the youtube video and proceed to the the witticisms and sexual innuendo. (To which the people cried, "In YOUR endo!") But go on give it shot. Be-HOLD! 

SAIL - AWOLNATION

 Meeeh! It's just a chick in a knit cap in the rain! SHUT UP AND WATCH.

Did, did you watch it? If you did, this is my face right now.

In the distance, I can only see a refection of my own, sexy, lip parted sadness. 

If you didn't, this is my face right now.

Not even the perfect application of my mascara shall alleviate your fear.

Well, now that we've got that point across, I shall proceed. In fact, for those of you who still didn't watch it, I will deliver a full summary because our society rewards the lazy and distrusts anyone in a suit.

Thanks, a lot HITLER.

By the way, if you point out the previous joke isn't applicable because those may technically be uniforms, I'm just going to assume you trust Hitler. . .racist. Returning to a nonracist youtube video, we open with a moist, sensual woman rain dancing in a knit cap with perfect lipstick. 

Suck it Zooey Deschanel.

She dances to a cool rock song and it seems like any other music video. Nothing special, but well shot, with a nice camera and a nice looking girl. And then, we zoom out.

Shawna: Hey, do you think we could make rain using a hose duct taped to a pole?
Tessa: I don't know. Let's try it.*

BAM! You have a goddamned swerve. Now, what you see below you may find terrifying, but it's really hilarious! For, there is friendship! Who other than a friend would not only hold a hose for you, but then spray you in the face with that very hose? Three times?? With sick, riveted joy???

Pictured: Friendship!

And who other than a friend would chase you down and take swift and brutal vengeance?

Pictured: BEST friendship!

And who other than a friend would set their anger (and a corpse) aside and just to dance!

"No Officer, I believe you're mistaken. It's not murder if I'm shaking my hips!"

First off, I love this video because it's well shot with a pretty camera (as previously pointed out) and both performances are committed and excellent. And though you can't tell from this blog post, the action has a really nice build. But, wait! There's more! It succeeds in mocking music video tropes (artistic people in the rain) while excelling at them (matching a the antics of two women perfectly to the rhythm/mood of the song). Lastly, and most important, I love this video because it shows two girls being funny, without caring about looking good. Don't get me wrong, they are lovely girls and their makeup is fabulous. But they're also okay with looking crazy as f**k.

Such a glint in an eye has not been seen since Sauron spied Frodo bringing the ring to Mordor.

Many comment that there aren't many strong female stand up comedians. And this is my theory why: if you're a woman (in the entertainment industry), you can be funny, but you have to be pretty while you do it. ALL. THE. TIME. And let's face it. Comedy isn't always pretty.

Exhibit A.

But you know what comedy does do? Gives you a personality. And that is totally hot. So, in short, thank you, laddies. Keep making weird faces and stayin' sexy!

Hot.

*actual youtube description

Feel Good Classic Youtubing (Owls!!!)

Many have has a youtube video or topic they look up when sad. For my bestfriend it's "Kittens and Yarn," for my beautiful Irishman it's "Husky Puppies." Now I have delighted in many of their videos, but I find reading self-written love letters whist cradling an unopened bottle of wine far quicker alleviates my sadness.

"Your eyes are as bright as a man who has suddenly realized his homosexuality."

But as I comedown from this magical place where pants are optional, but sunglasses are required, I find I still have a sense of emptiness. Much like the day I realized I could not legally marry the sunglasses pictured above.

Truly, I could never find any ring small enough for it's delicate frame.

But low, upon seeing the video below I changed my post wine cradling ritual from masturbation and tears. Lo, a youtube classic:

Lovely Owl

D'aww!

I mean, come on! Look at him! Every single bone in your body melts to angles and jello cake. This is an owl whose viewing could solve the crisis in the middle east, "You are trivializing world politics you say! People are DYING!" you say. "Look at that owl! I say." Just LOOK at him. If he can't solve this problem. . . maybe his friend can!

"Weapons of mass destruction? More like weapons of mass de-hug-tion! Come here you!"

This brilliant video even has a plot that matches to the music, behold, jealous owl! 

Best not show this to any world leaders

The plot is that the owl is jealous. Silly owl. Ooh! Look at the OTHER owls!!

"You know what? Let's forget our religious differences. This owl looks so sad!"

Okay, best put this away before the work productivity of the world falls into disaray. But here's one last owl. . .

I feel an overwhelming sense of love that can only be expressed in terms of candy, glitter and peace treaties.

Seeya later lovely internet folk!

How to ulilize social media in 7 steps (youtube video)

Hello again friends!

I have a nasty headache today, so I thought I'd blog about something that often gives me headaches: social networking. My hope is to exacerbate the situation so I have an excuse to lie down. But before that, here is a video I found where one man has the courage to take talking about social networking to the street without a single headache. May I present and you tube video featuring a mad efficient social media agency.

 This is the face of man who know his social media BUSINESS. Just look at that fist!

This video features a man who is not afraid to tell you all he knows about social media as a profit center for business. He provides a formula on how to do so in seven simple steps:

1) Get an account on the following social platforms: youtube, facebook, Twitter, Google+, Quora, blog, itunes. You’ve got to saturate ALL the social media websites with your message.

2) Fill your sites with content that educates your audience.  

3) Fill your sites with content that entertains your audience.

On an unrelated note, here's an ADORABLE picture of a monkey. 

4) Create partners; network with potential allies. Promise to advertise through your social media if they do the same.

5) Submit your messages and thoughts to bloggers and have them write about them. Acquire a list of top bloggers in your field of business to constantly utilize.

6) Blog frequently to teach and provide instructional videos, answer FAQs; remember to teach and entertain, never to sell.

7) Cross promote your own accounts. Provide rewards to your facebook followers to followers you on twitter and visa versa. Make sure you have varying content on each social media platform so people will want to engage with your business from morning to night.

If you follow all of these steps, you won’t have to buy advertisements. Your business will have naturally created a name for itself via social media.

Well, there's your dose of youtube goodness. Hope ya'll have a lovely day!

The men you wish could narrate your life (youtube video)

Trailers.

Some swine call them commercials, the enlightened call them "f***ing awesome." I imagine my life being presented by those who narrate these delightful mini-movies: "In a world that is really, really boring, one girl decides to spend most of her time. . .ON THE INTERNET."

Yea, I wouldn't watch it either. But apparently there are pretty much five guys who rule the world of the movie trailer announcing and here they all are in a limo.

5 Guys in a Limo

If I lived in a world where my voice was that perfect combination of gravely and smooth, I'd look good in my attempts to wear who gives a f*** sunglasses too.

Pictured: attempt.

Each man is as charismatic and alluring as his voice. The only fall short in the limo driver who clearly was wondering around drawn into such mellifluous voices and found himself given wooden delivery in a soon to be youtube video. And seriously, did anyone else think, man someone other than this limo driver should be black or this video will be offensive?

Well played.

And now for something compleltly different!

Avast, it is ye internets! Make sail!

The above rhetoric may seem out of place, but I have always been a pirate. Just been waiting for this "Caribbean" and "Somalian" things to settle down. So, in conjunction with a new found my comfort in my piratical identity, I've decided to take this blog in a NEW *gasping sparkles!* and shinny *GLITTER!* direction. Yarg!

Once you've gone and brushed that glitter all off of your lapel and top hat, take a seat in this mahogany chair. Yes, mahogany. We're FANCY pirates. And now. . . prepare yourself . . .

I AM GOING TO REVIEW STUFF AND THINGS. BUT BY STUFF I MEAN YOUTUBE VIDEOS. AND BY THINGS I MEAN WEBCOMICS. I AM GOING TO REVIEW YOUTUBE VIDEOS AND WEBCOMICS. PERHAPS OTHER THINGS AS WELL. I LIKE GEEKY THINGS.

So if you want to find cool things and show your friends other cool things, watch this spot! It will be making you cool soon. Be cool.